If you look up physicians in the phonebook, none of them advertise themselves as brain injury life coaches, and I'm thinking that's what we need right now. Annie is stable for the time being--we're not in any kind of crisis mode--so we have the luxury of wondering what the heck we should do next to facilitate her physical/neuro recovery.
She continues to make gains in her speech-sound acquisition--this past Tuesday when we were in the church foyer Pastor Dale said "Hi, Annie," and she said "Hi" back, much to his surprise! She is also more expressive in her eyes--lots of the "old Annie" is coming back to her face.
We're scheduling another assessment to see how much more OT/PT/Speech she should be getting. And after talking to my friend, Carol, who made an amazing recovery from polio with swim therapy, I also am thinking that I'd like to get her into an aqua-therapy class--but where and with whom?
It's like getting orders to navigate through my computer without Bill. Or learning to text without David. I need to pray more.
Jean
Though the Lord gave you adversity for food
and suffering for drink,
he will still be with you to teach you.
You will see your teacher with your own eyes.
Your own ears will hear him.
Right behind you a voice will say,
“This is the way you should go,”
whether to the right or to the left. Isaiah 30:20-21
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Changing seasons
Big brother Andy packed up and left for college today. I want to know why these kids keep doing this to us? You'd think we'd get used to it, beings as he's the third one out, but no, they just keep growing up and leaving and we're left here with a gaping hole at the dinner table. On the other hand, there are some in the family who see Andy's exit as an opportunity to move up the food-chain, so over the last 3 hours his old room has undergone a complete transformation and is now David's new address.
So, Annie's been saying a few new sounds, and now is mimicking one of her noise toys. She still hasn't had a seizure in almost 2 months, and continues to gain strength in her legs and arms. Every new move she makes reminds me that I need to go to the gym--maybe when the kids are back in school, which seems to be here way too soon--summer just started for crying out loud. I think someone forgot to tell the weatherman that summer is actually scheduled to go through August. The fall rains have already arrived, the nights are cool, and my petunias are getting moldy.
Jean
So, Annie's been saying a few new sounds, and now is mimicking one of her noise toys. She still hasn't had a seizure in almost 2 months, and continues to gain strength in her legs and arms. Every new move she makes reminds me that I need to go to the gym--maybe when the kids are back in school, which seems to be here way too soon--summer just started for crying out loud. I think someone forgot to tell the weatherman that summer is actually scheduled to go through August. The fall rains have already arrived, the nights are cool, and my petunias are getting moldy.
Jean
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
10 Things
Someday I'll write a book about caregiving, and how to support caregivers, or people who are going through a tough time. Everyone knows someone who is going through a difficult time--what can you do to help? Here are some things people have done for us that have been truly helpful:
Always at the top of the list--pray for them. Second is do something--something that you are uniquely gifted to do, that you enjoy doing, and that you will faithfully do. Tell your friend, "I'd like to do thus and such on these dates at this time. Would that help you?"
1. Write a snail mail card.
My friend, K, writes me the best cards and letters at just the right times. She did when Bill was sick, and she continues now with Annie's illness. These messages are God's love and strength to me.
2. Here's a green idea: give cash.
We had many friends who gave us lots of money in those first few weeks after Annie got sick. One couple, who had had a son in the hospital and who knew how expensive it was to live and commute there, gave us $300 cash--at frequent intervals.
3. Take care of the other kids.
If your caregiving friend has kids, take the kids to their soccer practice, music lessons, or wherever they need to go. Take the kids to a movie. Take the kids on vacation with you. Your friend has no mental or physical energy to take care of the kids who are well--you jump in and help.
4. Food is good.
Drop off food that can be frozen or is ready to eat. Don't stay to chat for more than 5 minutes. Your friend needs food, and peace and quiet.
5. Mow their yard, weed their garden. This is my personal favorite. People did this when Bill was sick, and recently, while Annie's been sick. When I see my yard in order, I am deluded into thinking that the rest of my life is in order too.
6. Clean their house, or part of it. I have a dear friend who STILL comes over and cleans my bathrooms once a week. She is someone with a very busy life, and bad knees. But what a faithful friend. Clean bathrooms are almost heaven--especially around here.
7. Organize help. If you're the motivator-organizer type, and you see what needs to be done for your friend, you make the calls and get people moving. I had a great friend like this when Bill was sick--she never took no for an answer from anyone--and I have a friend like this now. She checks in on us every once in a while to see if anything needs to happen.
8. Send flowers.
Or plants, or lattes. Little expressions of love always come at the right times. I had a friend when Bill was sick who brought me flowers about once a month. I loved it! Now I have a friend who caters to my caffeine addictions.
9. Support their marriage.
When Bill was sick (and could still travel) we had people who gave us weekends away now and then. Now, I have older & wonderful kids who can babysit Annie while Bill & I go on date nights. Remember that critical illness plays havoc with marriages. Give your friend a respite from the crisis they're enduring.
10. Pray more. Ask God to give you ideas on what you can do for your friend. You have unique abilities that allow you to do exactly what your friend needs today.
That's my list. I'm sure you guys have some ideas, too, of things that people have done to help you. Post your ideas so I can add them to this book I'm about to write... tomorrow.
Jean
Always at the top of the list--pray for them. Second is do something--something that you are uniquely gifted to do, that you enjoy doing, and that you will faithfully do. Tell your friend, "I'd like to do thus and such on these dates at this time. Would that help you?"
1. Write a snail mail card.
My friend, K, writes me the best cards and letters at just the right times. She did when Bill was sick, and she continues now with Annie's illness. These messages are God's love and strength to me.
2. Here's a green idea: give cash.
We had many friends who gave us lots of money in those first few weeks after Annie got sick. One couple, who had had a son in the hospital and who knew how expensive it was to live and commute there, gave us $300 cash--at frequent intervals.
3. Take care of the other kids.
If your caregiving friend has kids, take the kids to their soccer practice, music lessons, or wherever they need to go. Take the kids to a movie. Take the kids on vacation with you. Your friend has no mental or physical energy to take care of the kids who are well--you jump in and help.
4. Food is good.
Drop off food that can be frozen or is ready to eat. Don't stay to chat for more than 5 minutes. Your friend needs food, and peace and quiet.
5. Mow their yard, weed their garden. This is my personal favorite. People did this when Bill was sick, and recently, while Annie's been sick. When I see my yard in order, I am deluded into thinking that the rest of my life is in order too.
6. Clean their house, or part of it. I have a dear friend who STILL comes over and cleans my bathrooms once a week. She is someone with a very busy life, and bad knees. But what a faithful friend. Clean bathrooms are almost heaven--especially around here.
7. Organize help. If you're the motivator-organizer type, and you see what needs to be done for your friend, you make the calls and get people moving. I had a great friend like this when Bill was sick--she never took no for an answer from anyone--and I have a friend like this now. She checks in on us every once in a while to see if anything needs to happen.
8. Send flowers.
Or plants, or lattes. Little expressions of love always come at the right times. I had a friend when Bill was sick who brought me flowers about once a month. I loved it! Now I have a friend who caters to my caffeine addictions.
9. Support their marriage.
When Bill was sick (and could still travel) we had people who gave us weekends away now and then. Now, I have older & wonderful kids who can babysit Annie while Bill & I go on date nights. Remember that critical illness plays havoc with marriages. Give your friend a respite from the crisis they're enduring.
10. Pray more. Ask God to give you ideas on what you can do for your friend. You have unique abilities that allow you to do exactly what your friend needs today.
That's my list. I'm sure you guys have some ideas, too, of things that people have done to help you. Post your ideas so I can add them to this book I'm about to write... tomorrow.
Jean
Friday, August 8, 2008
Thoughts
I've been thinking again this week that God doesn't owe me a "healed Annie." I talk a lot in this blog that God CAN heal Annie. And, of course, we know from personal experience with Bill's healing from the Parkinsonism, PSP, that He can. But He doesn't owe us that, and in fact, He may not heal her more than He has already, which, in the scope of brain injury, is a lot.
But I need to remind myself every day that whether or not He heals Annie may not be the point at all in this whole experience. Annie's destiny is secure--she very early declared her faith in Jesus to save her. But will she ever be able to walk and talk and sing and dance again on this earth? God doesn't owe that to me. C.S. Lewis said in "A Grief Observed" that God "can't be used as a road. If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all." So in this process of illness, chronic health problems, and healing, I need to remember that God is not my Santa in the sky. He's God.
On the other hand, one of my favorite prayers in the Bible is when Daniel said, "O my God, incline Your ear and hear; open Your eyes and see our desolations, and the city which is called by Your name; for we do not present our supplications before You because of our righteous deeds, but because of Your great mercies." Daniel 9:18
So, I'll keep asking for Jesus to heal Annie--not because of my righteous deeds, but because of His great mercies. And because I know He can.
Jean
But I need to remind myself every day that whether or not He heals Annie may not be the point at all in this whole experience. Annie's destiny is secure--she very early declared her faith in Jesus to save her. But will she ever be able to walk and talk and sing and dance again on this earth? God doesn't owe that to me. C.S. Lewis said in "A Grief Observed" that God "can't be used as a road. If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all." So in this process of illness, chronic health problems, and healing, I need to remember that God is not my Santa in the sky. He's God.
On the other hand, one of my favorite prayers in the Bible is when Daniel said, "O my God, incline Your ear and hear; open Your eyes and see our desolations, and the city which is called by Your name; for we do not present our supplications before You because of our righteous deeds, but because of Your great mercies." Daniel 9:18
So, I'll keep asking for Jesus to heal Annie--not because of my righteous deeds, but because of His great mercies. And because I know He can.
Jean
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