Friday, August 8, 2008

Thoughts

I've been thinking again this week that God doesn't owe me a "healed Annie." I talk a lot in this blog that God CAN heal Annie. And, of course, we know from personal experience with Bill's healing from the Parkinsonism, PSP, that He can. But He doesn't owe us that, and in fact, He may not heal her more than He has already, which, in the scope of brain injury, is a lot.

But I need to remind myself every day that whether or not He heals Annie may not be the point at all in this whole experience. Annie's destiny is secure--she very early declared her faith in Jesus to save her. But will she ever be able to walk and talk and sing and dance again on this earth? God doesn't owe that to me. C.S. Lewis said in "A Grief Observed" that God "can't be used as a road. If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all." So in this process of illness, chronic health problems, and healing, I need to remember that God is not my Santa in the sky. He's God.

On the other hand, one of my favorite prayers in the Bible is when Daniel said, "O my God, incline Your ear and hear; open Your eyes and see our desolations, and the city which is called by Your name; for we do not present our supplications before You because of our righteous deeds, but because of Your great mercies." Daniel 9:18

So, I'll keep asking for Jesus to heal Annie--not because of my righteous deeds, but because of His great mercies. And because I know He can.

Jean

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jean...you inspire me daily. I too continue to pray for Annie's healing, all the while thankful for what he has already done in her, your family. What an honor to know and love the Sullivan Clan!

Love you!

Vickie

Gretchen said...

It amazes me how your family has shone and grown in this circumstance. Would mine have done the same? I would like to think so, but not only is God healing Annie (and merciful besides), he's used your family mightily in this disease process. He does see the big picture, doesn't he.

You all amaze me and challenge me to grow in my faith as well. xxxooogretchen

Annie Sullivan said...

Thanks, Vickie & Gretchen--and God has worked through your prayers to keep our boat afloat. It's HIStory, eh?

:)Jean

Beth said...

HI! So glad to re-connect. We've had a few computer woes. And I've been out of town. The news and pictures of Annie's progress are wonderful. What a noticeable change. Wishing that one of these times through Mill Creek, it's not naptime! Meanwhile, I am so happy with you at her progress. The spark in her eyes is so nice to see. She's sparkling!
love,
Beth (OT Beth)

uncle jeff said...

my wife and i visited jean and annie this past weekend,,, annie is SO much more alert and "vocal" with her thoughts,,, i believe God in all His mercies is going to allow her to utter words,,, i believe this and will ask here and now for the same,,,

Lord - give annie the words to speak.

thank you,

jean - you are amazing:)

aunt rebecca said...

We do need to be reminded to enjoy God's presence more than His presents, eh?
God bless all y'all

Anonymous said...

Through this all you are teaching us so much! It's amazing how God is using Annie and your family for SO MUCH MORE!!! Love you!

Tanya Witruk

Anonymous said...

Oh wow I am so far behind... been out of town and dealing with some health concerns. But I am still here and still praying!

Hugs
Sue Powell

Anonymous said...

It is so wonderful to hear of Annie's continued improvement. Here come the words, yippee! Jean, your words were a comfort and inspiration to me also because of some things I am facing... thanks for the reminder of how much God loves us and our lives are in His hands!

Sue Powell

Susan said...

"A Grief Observed" was such a blessing to me when I lost my mom. Your insights are right on the mark.

Love ya,
Susan

Anonymous said...

Just checking in to let you know I am praying tonight!!!!!

Sue Powell