Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Why?

So I was sitting in the living room this evening playing with Annie, when Peter observed, "It's like she's an infant now, right, Mom?"
"Yeah," I said with not a little sarcasm, "it's great, isn't it?"
"But she's getting better, and she's better than before, right?" Jack asked.
"Yes, she is getting better," I said, "but the thing the bugs me the most about this is that I know God could heal her suddenly and completely today, but for some reason He hasn't."

You know when you have those inane conversations that never lead anywhere? They usually happen toward the end of February when your body is so depleted of Vitamin D and seratonin that even a venti triple quad with an extra shot doesn't do squat.

Well, Peter's answer to my whining was typically blunt: "God has a plan and it's better than yours." And, not to be outdone, Jack chimed in, "God puts you in the place where you can benefit others."

Darn kids.

Okay--I submit. Again. "Jesus--Annie is Your kid, she's not mine. Thank You for what You have done, thank You for what You are doing now, and thank You what You are going to do in the future. Help me not to whine. Amen."

Jean

I know that You can do everything,
And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. Job 42:2

11 comments:

Gretchen said...

Yeah, I know...darn kids. And they're right. But here's my motherhood Team Jean T-shirt 2 cents: They didn't give birth to her. They didn't love on her with a mother's love for 3 years and 9 months in a normally developing state and then wake up, suddenly to have their parenting of this child turned upside down and inside out with this brain injury. You did. You have. You are. So, while I'm glad that Peter and Jack are there to keep you from whining with the best perspective there is (and realizing that they have been through a share of grief I wouldn't wish on anyone), I also think a whine or 2 is okay now and then. February or not.

Go Jean. You da momma. Go Jean.

Anonymous said...

I agree with ?Gretchen! This picture of you and Annie at the garden show is to be treasured. You are the momma of the ages whose love knows no bounds when it comes to her children! Continuing to pray for Annie's complete healing and for you to be sustained in the meantime! Much Love, Cindy Nelson

Jean said...

You guys are such a comfort to me!~ And in thinking more about this, I think the bottom line is that I'm anxious for heaven--and that's not a bad thing, eh?

And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. Romans 8:23

pam s. said...

New bodies, new names....it's perfectly ok to be "eager" for that day!
And...Annie has two (at least in your story) big brothers who have amazing insight and wisdom! You planted those seeds, too, you know, and they've watched you walk out your faith for over 2 yrs now. So to sum up: God's plan (better than yours, per Peter) is to have you in a place where you are benefiting others (per Jack) - and "Others" include all of us, and Peter, and Jack, and Annie, and Olivia.....and how many dozens/hundreds more who know your story!?
Those kids. They're great.

Anonymous said...

I am humbled.....

Tanya Witruk

Beth said...

Hi! As usual, I enjoy, and am challenged by your comments, Jean. I've taken time to catch up on Annie's progress lately and I'm so amazed. She looks so very different. It was a delight to read things like she's sniffing her blanket and she's making new sounds.
I'm sorry to have missed the auction. I was out of town, and then came home to a death in our extended family. I thought I'd get up your way during mid-winter break - but that didn't happen. So...it'll have to wait. But, I just couldn't wait to at least tell you Annie has changed sooo much since I last checked in. Hopefully, I'll see her for myself soon.
love,
Beth
OT Beth :D

Susan said...

Wow. Amazing post. I totally understand where you are in this, Jean. What a blessing to have wise children to help put things in perspective. And I agree, the picture of you and Annie at the flower show is absolutely priceless!

Love,
Susan
xoxoxo

aunt rebecca said...

Here's to that venti triple quad whatever! February is the month God made so that we would REALLY appreciate March :-)

I SO love all my nieces and nephews. There has never been such a blessed aunt in the world.

So there.

uncle jeff said...

:)

Anonymous said...

Hi Jean-
Been there, felt that. The reminders to let God work through us are good, but it is also good to tell God about our pain so we can work through it.
I too, long for heaven when bodies and brains are perfected.

Teena

Sue Powell said...

Yah I vote for the venti triple quad! :) Jean, you are doing super and a whine once in a while is okay as long as you don't let it last too long. :) I love the garden show picture!!