Friday, January 21, 2011

Four Years

It was four years ago this morning that Annie had an Addisonian Crisis that resulted in her brain injury. She was three and a half years old when it happened, so she has been sick longer than she was healthy in her little life. I'm still not used to it.

Yesterday she was crying and scowling and her facial expression briefly reminded me of what she used to look like when she'd get mad about something. It was as if a veil on her face lifted for a tiny second and I caught a glimpse of the Annie who used to be. Even though she was mad, I loved watching her yesterday...and I know she's still in there. I will just keep waiting for her to come out.

You know what helps me wait? Stories about people who waited for a long time, and then finally had their prayers answered. Like Abraham and Sarah--they waited 25 years before their son Isaac was born. Abraham was 100 and Sarah was 99. Hard to believe, but with God all things are possible, right?

Then there was Joseph who was stuck in prison for about 13 years before he became the 2nd in command in Egypt, and then waited about 9 more years before he was reunited with his little brother and father. Over 20 years of waiting.

Jesus healed a woman who was crippled for 18 years. He healed a man by the pool of Bethesda who had been an invalid for 38 years.

I have a friend whose dad slowly lost his sight over the course of a few years and then was blind for 7 years after that. Then God led him to a doctor who gave him medicine that restored his sight.

So far I've only waited four years. I'll keep waiting and praying.


They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31


Marilyn said...

Enjoyed visiting with you last night by phone! Your story continues to be a witness to God's faithfulness in all things!

jean said...


Anonymous said...

Waiting and praying right with you!
Terri W

Jean said...

Thanks, Terri--God hears your prayers.

Luke's Mom said...

Thanks for sharing this blog post, it really ministered to my heart. I've often told people that God's timing is perfect, not always the way I want it to be but always the way HE wants it to be. Resting and trusting Jesus through the long years of waiting for a miraculous touch is NOT easy, but it is rewarding at times, knowing that He uses this time of waiting to grow us stronger.

I've thought a lot about you lately, it would be good to have a nice long chat sometimes: - )


Gretchen said...

Your surrender to His timing inspires, friend. Been thinking and praying about/over you. xxxooo

OliviasMommy said...

Hello Jean,
I have followed you beautiful Annie's story for sometime now. I believe she is featured on Dusty's Addison's page with my daughter, Olivia. Your story is shockingly similar to ours. In fact, January 21, 2007 was the day our sweet, little 16 month old Olivia sufferened what we now know was an Addisonian Crisis. She suffered a 2 hour seizure, almost 250 heartrate, and a blood sugar of 14. She spent 8 days in the hospital and was then sent home. It wasn't until almost 2 years later, countless doctors including an endo), test, hospital stays, and new symptoms, that my mom found Addison's online. Amazingly, Olivia sufferend another crisis just 3 days later. Anyway, long story short, she was diagnosed July 30, 2008. I have often wanted to reach out to you...and have hesitated. I am often so deeply saddened by the point in which our similarities in our stories stop. I have always wanted to tell you that Annie's story has given us a hope and inspiration in our everyday lives. For we used to think of Jan. 21,2007 as the worse day of our life. We thought we were watching our baby die. I carried a lot of anger for the ER doctor and the local hospital. I thought only of the suffering our beautiful baby and selfishly the pain my husband and I felt for those two excruciating hours. Then I read your story. I was forever changed. We now celebrate that day. I had always thought, "They almost killed my daughter", "That was the worse day of my life". Now I know without a shadow of a doubt, how very blessed we are. We are inspired and amazed at your strength and grace. We will always feel a bond with Annie and your family. And I hope one day when Olivia is old enough, she will reach out to Annie. Olivia is now 5 1/2 and attends preschool 3 days a week, does ballet and has her first soccer practice tomorrow. She just passed a 24 hour EEG, and for the first time since she was 13 months old, will be weened from seizure meds. You see, I have always hesitated to contact you for fear of it being taken as gloating. I have ofter asked myself "why", but in the context of "why not us". I surely do not have that answer, but will trust in God that both our girls have a devine purpose on this Earth. =D I thank you for you bravely in sharing your everyday life, with all the ups and downs with us. You are my inspiration. Thank you! Amy Zack

jean said...

Sue--like I've said before-I'm a lightweight compared to you...but we're all on the same road.

Gretchen--assume that God is speaking directly to you! ;-)

Amy--I would love for Annie to meet Olivia someday--their stories are so eerily similar. And please, don't feel like you're gloating. I remember when God healed my husband, Bill, miraculously of Progressive Supranuclear Palsy in October of 2000, that same feeling of survivor's guilt--because you want to celebrate how wonderful it is to be alive and well, but do feel so sorry for those who are still sick.

There's a saying that "if I can't serve as an example, at least I can serve as a warning," and I'd say that for us, that is one redeeming thing from our story. Hopefully, people will learn from our experience that Addison's is not as uncommon as some may think, and requires fast and decisive action to turn around.

I am happy that Olivia is able to wean off her seizure meds, and that she is enjoying a normal little girl's life. Praise God for that, and for leading your mother to the diagnosis of Addison's before it was too late!

Lana C. said...


Your honest sharing of the ups and downs, the emotional side of your experience brings our heart to your side. I have Addison's and it is always tough to see the dark side of this disease; the difficulties are hard to share, but it is important to let your story be known. I do believe it can possibly save lives or preserve health by awareness. I am always touched by your ability and willingness to reach out to others so beautifully.

Keep up the hope...I've seen huge miracles in my life that could only have been by the touch of God and against ALL expectations. I know you have seen the same, and I am filled with hope as well that your daughter is on God's supernatural course of healing. Of course, we know she is perfect in God's eyes, but that you want a "normal" life for your child and that is at the heart of every mother. You are a sweet mom; God put your beautiful daughter in wonderfully nurturing hands. Keep sharing; your mother's love is sustaining to more people than just your daughter. :-)
Lana C.