Bill and I were comparing our feelings now to what we felt four years ago. Four years ago, we were in shock, and traumatized at the event of her brain injury--the loss of our healthy little girl was almost too much to bear. The daily grief was suffocating. The fear of how she was doing was constant. But over many months, we got into the rhythm of caring for Annie, and finding joy in her progress and achievements--no matter how slow they came.
Now, we miss holding her, snuggling with her, and having her here with us. We miss her sweet voice--the "hi's, yo-ees, o-ee-a's..." But the worry of how she is doing, how many seizures she's had, does she need more hydrocortisone, and is she going to be alive when we walk into her room the next morning? is gone. We have no fear, no worry. None. Annie is safe; she is well--she is perfectly well.
Jean
For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:
"Death is swallowed up in victory." "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?"
1 Corinthians 15:54-55
12 comments:
Annalee Grace Sullivan
Totally victorious!
Love and prayers,
Terri W
(Verification is anaties. Annie ties us to heaven.)
What an agony you have been through for the last four years. I know you miss your sweet little Annie desperately, and yet what a comfort to know that her healing is now complete and she can dance and sing her heart out. Bet she is jabbering away now with all the words she has not been able to speak for so long. You are on my heart constantly and in my prayers.
Sue Powell
I'm so sorry for your many losses! And, so thankful for God's many graces!
Oo-ee-a.
Don't expect anything,
from yourself or each other.
Instead,
expect ANYthing,
from yourself and each other.
Waves.
Good waves, bad waves
unwelcome waves and
welcome waves.
Ups, downs,
topsies
and turveys.
The explainable and
the completely in-
Needs for movement
needs for stillness
needs for company
needs for solitude
needs to be held
needs to not be touched
needs to talk
needs to be silent
needs to share
needs to suppress
needs to cry
sometimes controllably
sometimes un-
needs to laugh
sometimes controllably
sometimes un-
understanding
misunderstanding
logical emotions
completely il-
ability to be supportive
inability to be supportive
need to be supported
need to be
absolutely.
nothing.
at.
all.
Waves.
Coming waves
and going waves.
Easy waves
and uneasy waves.
Restful nights
and unrestful nights.
And all of it is
completely
totally
blamelessly and shamelessly
ohhhh-kayyy.
I think of you and your family often and remember you in my prayers. Somehow, in the midst of your great loss, you manage to comfort others with your words.
Love you,
Susan
I can only imagine how quiet the house feels, how still time seems, how difficult yet comforting it is to have Annie's things all around you- we are with you in love, you are not alone.
Prayers and Love-
Maurita
If You Could See Me Now
Our prayers have all been answered. I finally arrived.
The healing that had been delayed has now been realized.
No one's in a hurry. There's no schedule to keep.
We're all enjoying Jesus, just sitting at His feet.
Cho: If you could see me now, I'm walking streets of gold.
If you could see me now, I'm standing strong and whole.
If you could see me now, you'd know I've seen His face.
If you could see me now, you'd know the pain is erased.
You wouldn't want me to ever leave this place,
If you could only see me now.
My light and temporary trials have worked out for my good,
To know it brought Him glory when I misunderstood.
Though we've had our sorrows, they can never compare.
What Jesus has in store for us, no language can share.
Cho: If you could see me now, I'm walking streets of gold.
If you could see me now, I'm standing strong and whole.
If you could see me now, you'd know I've seen His face.
If you could see me now, you'd know the pain is erased.
You wouldn't want me to ever leave this place,
If you could only see me now.
Ok, all 8 comments preceding mine are more eloquent.
I just wanted to say that just because you're not in 'crisis mode' doesn't mean we stopped praying for you guys.
This is a huge transition time for you. All of you Sullivan's. And so we continue to pray Grace Grace upon you :-)
Thank you all for your kind words and prayers.
Jean, you and Bill, and your family, are so loved. I am still praying too.
Sue Powell
It probably feels like a thousand endings & a thousand beginnings & a thousand in-betweens, all at once...God is in every space, in our strengths & in our weaknesses.
Embracing sudden change in our lives is a challenge; especially when you lose someone who was disabled & the level of care went beyond the "norm." A higher level of care requires a higher level of bonding. The process of change does not come with a stopwatch; so give yourself as long as you need & go by no one's schedule other than your own. Your husband & you have such incredible life experiences, your sharing is appreciated.
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